What We Have Been Reading This Week

India court recognises transgender people as third gender

 

I’m A Sex Therapist And Here Are My Top 5 Pieces Of Advice For Having Sex That Doesn’t Suck

 

Rough sex can be empowering for women, too

 

Pelvic Floor Exercises Can Help Men Last Four Times Longer

Lube: Your Vibrator’s (and Your) Best Friend

Understanding Your Lubes

Water-Based Lubes: The most common lube available, water-based lubes are water-soluble and safe to use with most toys. Water-based lubes offer a ton of variety, both in consistency and ingredients ranging from water-like to the thickness of hair gel, and basic to herbal additives. In general, thicker water-based lubes tend to last longer and stay where you want them to versus a thinner consistency, which may dry up faster. Keep in mind that you can easily rehydrate lube with more water or spit. These lubes have a variety of additives so check out the ingredient list, especially if you have sensitive skin or are prone to yeast infections.

Silicone-based Lubes: Although not safe to use with most silicone toys, these lubes are super slippery and don’t dry out like your average water-based lube will. Because of the nature of silicone, most of these lubes are hypoallergenic so they are great to use if you have chemical sensitivities. Also, silicone lubes can easily double as a body glide, which means you can start off with a massage and then move on to other fun things without changing lube bottles.

Hybrid Lubes: These lubes tend to be largely water-based with a little bit of silicone thrown in there. They tend to last a bit longer than a typical water-based lube but, check the packaging to make sure they are compatible with your silicone toy.

Oil-based Lubes: This category of lube has been around for a long time. There is some debate on whether these lubes can cause bacteria build up, so we would recommend doing a little research before use. Having said that, many folks swear by oil-based lubes because they are super slippery and safe to use with most sex toys. Do keep in mind that oil-based lubes may not be compatible with your chosen barrier method though.

Selecting the Right Lube for You

Everyone’s Body Chemistry is Different: A lube that may be perfect for you may not be the best for someone else. Often times it can be fun and informative to test out a bunch of different brands to find what works best for you, your partner(s), and with or without your toys. You can pick up small tester packets at many local retailers, which are also great for travel.

Visit Your Local Retailer: A local sex-positive retailer is a great place to check out different brands and get some insider information on their personal favorites. The educators at these retailers tend to have a wealth of information on ingredients, usage, and customer favorites. Plus, it is a great time to pick up a Minna product for a friend.

Talking About Vibrators with Others

“My life isn’t an episode of Sex in the City; I don’t just sit around chatting about how many times I got off over cosmos.” In terms of the Sex in the City part, this is probably for the best, they didn’t seem to have a lot of choices in those episodes and sex toy conversations aren’t just confined to one kind of vibrator and glitzy New York bars. One can do some great sharing of their love, frustration, or boredom with their sex toys over a cup of tea or a long g-chat–no cosmos required.

Below, we have put together a few reasons why we think talking about your vibes can be great for you and those you are chatting with.

Share Your Innovation: Just like there is no one size fits all vibrator, there is no one way to use it. You might have thought of the most brilliant way to use your vibe that may be delightful for someone else. Tell them about it!

Normalizing: Bringing it into conversation can help dispel those feelings of toys, or sex in general, being something embarrassing or awkward.

When You Love Something Share It: Not necessarily physically but, the idea of it. If you have stumbled upon a toy that you love, tell a friend or partner(s). A lot of folks own one or more toys that are made out of some really unfriendly materials. These toys aren’t good for their bodies or anyone else’s, so let them know when you have found something that is body-safe, innovative, and fun.

Not quite up for sharing with a friend yet? There are multitudes of amazing sex toy reviewers on the internet that take the time to do really thorough, insightful, and hilarious reviews of toys. You can read through before purchasing or check them out post-purchase for some new ideas on how to use what you already own.